I feel as if I have been cursed with the Doom of Loss.
Joe messaged me today to tell me that Zeus was badly injured in a dogfight and died this morning. Today I felt the grief I could not feel on Friday. This could have happened at any time Zeus was with me in that forsaken community. But it happened now.
No point in asking “why?” or “what if?” Shit happens.
I had no qualms about leaving Zeus with Joe and Lina, They are good people and loved him as I did. He was earning his keep as a guard dog and I was convinced he had found his place and was happier there with his little pack of puppy playmates than he would have been with me over the next few months. Even if I knew where I was going I had no idea when I would be settled again, or whether he could adjust to the New Zealand climate after being a desert dog. But if I hadn’t left him behind…..
And then, just to top things off, I dropped my new iPhone onto concrete and smashed it. It is buggered. I have been waiting for a protective case to arrive that I ordered at the same time I bought the phone. It will probably turn up tomorrow.
So it goes.
I remind myself of the motto I wrote on the ‘fridge after the first burglaries over a year ago. I shall print it out and hang it everywhere I go from now on. The lesson I have learned from these past years.
Nothing really matters.