And Saint Alan did hold his stainless steel insulated coffee plunger on high, saying “For it is written: Even unless ye drink a morning libation of coffee, ye shall be without caffeine, listless and without life for the duration of the day”.
And he did pour into his I’m a ray of sunshine mug a libation of hot beverage with just one sachet of sweetener and but a single spoon of whitener of the cheaper brand sold at Woolworths.
And Lo! The colour of the mug did change and the text now read “I’m a ray of fucking sunshine”.
And it was so.
And Saint Alan did drink the coffee, and saw it was Good. And he did praise the cheap Lazzio brand from Aldi that costs a third of the brands from other supermarkets, yet delivers full-bodied flavour, saying “Bring unto me the vicissitudes of the day, for I am a caffeinated ray of fucking sunshine and, yeah verily, I say unto thee, lets do this shit”.
And he did gird his loins* and go forth.
* put on his shorts.