Accosted

I was accosted outside BWS as I loaded my trike with a few groceries from Woolworths, a bottle of Jameson’s and a box of ten cans of Mercury hard cider.

“Sir, do you believe in heaven and hell?”

“Oh yes. I’ve been to both. Once you leave heaven, there’s no leaving hell”.

“Our saviour Jee…”

I interrupted. “I am a Pastafarian. My deity is the FSM. The heaven I am promised, though imaginary, is more interesting than the imaginary one ☝️ you are expecting. I am not open to hearing more about heaven from you.”

“But god wants…”

I particularly hate it when someone presumes to know the mind of an imaginary deity.

“Good day.”

Thank the FSM for electric trikes. I motored away.

On the ride home I replayed the conversation, thinking of ways I might better have dealt with the earnest young woman. What I might have said to make her reconsider her no doubt deeply held, if naive, faith. Then I concluded that all I needed to do was get her out of my face. She is entitled to believe whatever comforts her in her ignorance. Just don’t proselytise.

Leave me alone.

Then my mind followed once again the track leading to the ironic realisation that heaven was always possible. Always within our reach without the need for faith in an afterlife. Even now some with stronger faith than mine could conceive it might still be achievable.

The resources of the world; managed sustainably, our technology; used humanely, our Wisdom; if used at all, would have ensured we could all live our lives in a peaceful world I have glimpsed on many occasions. I have lived amongst kind and caring people, visited landscapes and subseascapes of incredible beauty and wonder, I have loved and been loved. I have worked to help others.

Hell, then, becomes a reality when we recognise it is simply a location in the space-time continuum in which the circumstances, inequalities, greed, privilege, oppression, dishonesty and violence leave little room for hope for any more than a few. It is now. Science and Reason cannot help us without Education, Ethics, Empathy and Compassion.

It took me half a lifetime to transcend my own faults, at least to a stage at which I could sincerely declare I believe myself to be a Good Person, or at least perhaps a better person than I was. There are many people in the world who are far better persons than I. People who toil, think, and create to make life better for humans and the environment thar sustains us.

And there are the Others. The billionaires, the oligarchs, the corrupt, the evangelicals, the fascists. The warmongers. The stupid and gullible.

It took only a time in a remote community to shatter my slowly restored faith and my mental health. I now suffer depression and anxiety that must be chemically controlled. My hell.

The reason for theft and violence is, in general, poverty. The reason for poverty is greed and oppression. And that’s enough ranting for today. I have no answers.

All that from a casual encounter.

Fast and Fastiest

This is a fibreglass replica of a pedal car from the 1950s which was itself a replica of a 1949 Austin Pathfinder. When I saw this advertised for sale locally I recognised it straight away.

When I was four or possibly five, (1956 or 7) there was a boy who lived up the street from my Grandparents’ house in Horsell. I think, if I remember correctly, his name was Billy Cotton. Billy, if you are out there, hi!

Billy had one of the metal originals of this pedal car. I remember it well because I was very impressed that he could open the bonnet and show me the engine inside. There were even little spark plugs with wires. I knew what spark plugs were! The bonnet was held down with leather straps, just as in the picture. I thought it was pretty awesome.

My pedal car was a green army Jeep with a star on the bonnet, and numbers on the side. Like this one.

I remember Billy challenged me to a race, which he asserted he would win because his was a racing car. I knew he was right but agreed to race and we set off around the block. We started at the place where my aunts Mary and Anne had drawn hopscotch squares with broken brick on the pavement across the road from the house. By racing on that side we could go round the block without crossing any roads out of sight of home.

Off we went, up the street, turn right, turn right again, past the sweet shop, right turn, one more right turn and we were back.

And I won by a length. My rival’s pedal car must have weighed three times what mine did. He flagged quite quickly. I passed him quite early in the race. After that, I felt much better about my plainer but seriously faster Jeep.

Episode IV, A New Hope.

To the doctor today for my second Astra Zeneca jab. Administered by one of the practice nurses. I am now vaccinated. Before I went to see the nurse Mehdi called me into his room for a quick consultation and the obligatory cautions about the jab. He asked how I was and I told him frankly that walking was becoming more and more difficult for me, and more painful.

He suggested I see the practice physiotherapist and I said I would try anything. As it happened I could be fitted in immediately after my jab. The physio’s name is Duncan. He is older and wiser than the last one I saw.

I described my symptoms and told him of my previous efforts and those of his Bribie colleague. He then told me to stand up, lean forward and back, and walk around. He gave me a short and painful series of massage. Then he told me to get up and walk. Like the man of Bethesda I did, though I had no bed to take up. Nonetheless it was like a miracle. The pain was considerably eased, and I was much more steady on my feet. I did not need the walking stick.

He explained that he had stretched some muscles and tendons that had shrunk and set due to the way I nurtured my body and the sore knees and back. Also he told me I had flat feet, which did not help..

The good news is at the next appointment next week he is going to give me some exercises that should, he assures me, reverse the problem and improve my mobility.

But of course I also received another lecture about losing weight. I still am, though not as quickly as before. More depression and more comfort food. Time to stoke up the motivation again. I had almost given up. I really do feel a renewed hope that it is possible for me to do.

So, walking and pedalling by themselves were not likely to help after all, but I should be able to do both with less pain and discomfort once I put myself through the exercise regime he is devising. Judging from today it’s likely to hurt. But if there is any chance it will work, I’m game. I can easily cope with pain which has a purpose. Because if it comes with hope I can take it. I’ve demonstrated that before.

Update

It is exactly three months since I turned 69. A full quarter.

I have not blogged, because I had nothing much to say. At least nothing positive. Christmas and the new year were a dark period for me, physically and mentally. I hurt when I walked, when I showered and when I dressed myself. Even when I just stood at the kitchen sink peeling potatoes. This led me into a deep feeling of despair as I considered the terrible possibility of soon being unable to look after myself, and needing some disinterested stranger to bathe me and dress me, and feed me, and wipe my arse.

Even though the pool was open again, I was not swimming. It was heavenly while i was in the pool, but the mere act of emerging to the full painful effect of gravity was enough to bring tears to my eyes. I could barely climb into the Landcruiser afterwards. The same after walking around the supermarket. I was a mess. Ji could only go home and crawl into bed.

I took my painkillers and wallowed.

Then one morning I challenged myself to make a decision. It was either throw myself under a bus or get back onto the track I had been on before COVID. I had been doing so well but since then my bike was stolen, then COVID and the pool closure. So, compounded by my own lassitude, all the good I had achieved was undone.

The first thing I did was buy a shiny red electric tricycle. This would allow me, as with the bike before, to exercise my legs and yet be sure to be able to get home even if I have stuffed myself. It also meant I need not drive the Landcruiser to the pool or to the shops. Three wheels meant I need not be concerned about falling over because I need the saddle so high (so my knees won’t hurt) that I can barely touch the ground.

A bit bigger than the one I had when I was six.

Secondly I talked to Mehdi about cutting down on the Pregabalin. This may seem counterintuitive but I believed it was contributing to my depression. Sure enough, one of its side effects is “suicidal ideation”. Hence, possibly, the bus challenge. Better to decrease the painkiller than increase the Fluoxetine. Besides. I reasoned that getting weight off and improving mobility would reduce the pain.

So, I set out to try again, and sure enough, renewed exercise and a recommitment to healthy eating seems to have done the trick. Less pain, more mobility, resulting in a better outlook. I still need a walker or a shopping trolley for any long walks, but I get around mostly with just a stick to steady me.

One of my frustrations has been that I have not felt up to taking my boat out alone. It has sat there unused for a full year. It was an optimistic folly to have bought it. I considered selling it, but I still think I may get some use out of it. We shall see.

Some Bastard

Some bastard has stolen my bicycle away
So I on old Bribie no longer can play
I will wade round the beaches right up to my chest
To find out my bicycle, the one I love the best

And when I have found out my joy and delight
Whoever is riding it I’ll surely fight
For his ears shall be ringing and his head shall be thick
Once I give him a beating with my walking stick

Here’s a health to all riders that are loyal and just
Here’s confusion to the rider that lives in distrust
For I’m telling you now that when I catch that prick
I shall give him such a beating with my walking stick.

Trad Arr! ARF!

“

Yes. Some prick stole my bike.

Special Points to anyone who knows the tune for this song.

https://youtu.be/n-tRqcow10k

https://youtu.be/vFVdxOy42JA

No, Really.

True story.

I was in the economy shop to buy a device for picking things up, and a lumbar support, I knew I’d find them there at a fraction of the price at a pharmacy. I was not wrong.

I found the picky uppy thingy, which I usually refer to as a gotcha. As I took it from the shelf, I dropped it. I said aloud to myself. “Great. Now I’ll have to buy two”.

A woman standing behind me broke into a fit of giggles as she bent down to pick it up for me. The giggles redoubled when she saw I had already selected another one, and then I tucked both that, and the one she handed me, under my arm.

I thanked her sincerely for the assistance, and for the amusement, which brightened what was threatening to be a bleak day in more ways than the weather.

I had just come from a visit to, of all people, a podiatrist. My health care planner had thought maybe one could help me with my back/leg problem, seeing that I could no longer wear shoes with heels.

I met with him at 08:45. I apprised him of my current condition, and told him it seems to be getting worse lately, despite the walking, cycling and swimming. He listened. He asked a few pertinent questions, mostly about when the pain was worse, what activities made it flare up. He examined my posture.

At last he told me he did not believe that as a podiatrist, there was much he could do for me except provide a little arch support, which he promptly affixed to the jandals (thongs, flip-flops) I was wearing, after I told him they were what I wore most of the time. It may or may not help. He was not hopeful.

However, speaking not in his professional capacity, but as a person still recovering from a broken back, he felt he should pass on the information he had received from the surgeons and spinal specialists who had treated him.

What it amounted to was that riding a bicycle is not a good thing to be doing. Swimming and exercising in water is. So is losing weight. The first I had already begun to suspect. The latter two I already knew. When I mentioned having recently bought a boat, his look of dismay told me all I needed to know. He advised me to get a seat with suspension fitted. He also told me to get a lumbar support for when I sit, and gotchas for picking things up.

So I headed out into the rainy weather with an outlook bleak indeed. The bike had not been a good idea at all. Maybe the boat also. Though that yet remains to be seen. However, no matter how I looked at it i thought perhaps I had not been making sensible decisions lately. Most of my not-good ideas were costly. Either financially or in other ways. For example, my decision to work in the Kimberley had broken my heart, and my spirit, for a time , and did no good to the rest of me.

I tried to think back to the last time I could say I had chosen to do something that had really worked out well.

By the time I got to the economy shop I had progressively thought all the way back to 2009, and my decision to take that well-paid job in Fiji, without having identified anything positive at all. The black dog was circling me, ready to lunge.

Then I dropped the gotchas, talked to myself, and made someone laugh. That made me smile. I headed for the pool and swam in the rain. Swimming is Good.

I swam an extra half hour to make up for the cycling I’m not doing. I also solved the problem of water infiltrating my earplugs as I swam. The rubber bits that go into my ear canal are left and right handed. Somehow I had transposed them after washing them. Something I could have sworn I had taken great care not to do each time. I should have realised straight away.

Dave. My mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it.

I shall continue to use the bike, for short trips to the local shops and for transporting my washing to and from the laundry, but I’ll not be pedalling so much.

FOOTNOTE

By shear coincidence, just after writing about how I talk to myself, I came upon this article.

Which led me to this one. Until now I thought I was in the minority, on the spectrum of schizophrenia.

One Forward, Two Back

I’ve been driving the cruiser to the pool the last few days. I did not think I could pedal the bike. Today I thought I could and set off with a light heart and a cheerful smile.

I think I can, I think I can… i did. I thought I could.

By the time I arrived at the pool I was twinging a bit. 95 minutes of swimming followed, accompanied by Vivaldi, Gershwin, Altan, Paul Brady, Steeleye Span and Pink. Music makes it easy. That little MP3 player is worth its weight in niobium. Even if I have to stop periodically to blow into the earplugs and reseat them in my ear canal after water infiltrates and muffles the music.

When I emerged from the pool, however, I could barely walk. A reviving cappuccino and a hot shower did not help at all, then off to Aldi for fresh vegetables. Once on the bike I found I could not pedal at all. My calves and thighs were the problem, not my knees. Movement was excruciating. So I dangled my legs, switched to medium assist, and flicked on the accelerator. The bike did all the work. At Aldi I limped around leaning on a trolley and bought a cauli, some baby carrots and half a butternut. And a key lime pie. I deserve it.

By the time I got home the battery was down to 25%. And I found I could not get off the bike. I felt like a helpless old cripple. In the end I dismounted by undertaking a controlled fall while hanging on to the support strut of the awning. I’ll pick the bike up later. I only just got inside with the groceries. Coffee and painkillers. Maybe a nap next until they kick in. Brunch can wait. The key lime pie is thawing on the bench. I couldn’t bend over to put it in the fridge. It’s times like this I get nervous. I’m only 68 for fuck’s sake.

Lend Me Ten Pounds, and I’ll Buy You a Drink.

There is a gentleman I pass quite regularly on my cycle ride to the pool who appears to be picking herbs from the grass on the roadside. I’ve often wanted to stop and ask what he is collecting. I almost did so this morning, but it occurred to me he may be collecting cigarette butts discarded by people using the path. I am probably wrong. He is there so often, I doubt there would be that many butts for him to pick up by now. Nevertheless the thought was enough to deter me from stopping and asking. He might be embarrassed.

Whenever something like that happens I get the feeling I am losing an opportunity to hear an interesting story. Is he picking penny royal to make a decoction to induce abortion? is there some psychotropic weed growing here that no one other than he knows of? Is he a harmless nut herbalist, or a derelict with no money for fags? Is it any of my business?

Almost as if to answer the psychotropic theory, I next came upon a much younger man who appeared to have dropped a plastic carrier bag of possessions and was bending over to retrieve them. I was about to stop to help, until I heard what he was saying, or rather the language he was using, and his tone. It was a loud, angry, incoherent rant full of effing and blinding and the colourful C word. He seemed to be referring to one C in particular, up which he proposed to insert various objects. Whoever he was talking to was not visible to me.

Nor, it seems, was I visible to him. I pedalled by on my bike with its bright yellow trailer sporting a pirate flag on its mast. His rant at the invisible person beside him did not change at all as I rode through his line of gaze. I have seen those crazed, dilated-pupil red-rimmed stares before. Not weed. Ice. Move on. Quickly. Before those eyes focus.

The clear water of the pool was warm. It did not feel particularly refreshing. The only energy burnt there today would be in propulsion, not in maintaining body temperature. It was so warm I wondered if I was sweating as I swam. How can one tell?

The MP3 player gave me a particularly good choice of random music today. My 90 minutes of laps passed very quickly. A bit of Zydeco, Sinead O’Connor, Pink Floyd, and Afro-Celt Sound System. I managed to keep up a vigorous stroke rhythm most of the time except during the more languid sound of O’Connor’s Danny Boy. Not my favourite version, nor my favourite of her recordings.

An estimated 4,740 kJ burnt, I had a cold shower and shampoo. Then, after a quick visit to Aldi for salad vegetables, I headed home, pedalling into a freshening breeze from the NNE. Practicing my long neglected nautical assessment skills, I estimated the wind to be between 18 and twenty knots, and bringing rain.

I checked my apps when I got home. 20 knots, NNE. And the radar showed approaching storms. The rain and lightning began within half an hour. It hasn’t changed the heat or humidity.

It still hurts when I pedal. More when I walk. The exercise is not helping, and may even be making things worse. I can’t keep increasing my painkillers. I need a new strategy.

On a completely different note, Richard in Quebec may be interested to hear I have been told there has been a rare (for Bribie) sighting of a small flock of Oriental cuckoos down at Buckley’s Hole. If the weather and my legs permit, I may toddle off down there tomorrow to see what I can see.

Sunrise Over Moreton Island

After my evening meal yesterday I thought I’d take a little nap. I was asleep in an instant. I didn’t wake until half past midnight. Wide awake and full of beans. I worked a little on one of my craft hobby projects that have gone unattended for some time.

At 04:30 I was really hungry so I had an early breakfast. Feeling more spry than I have for a while I then took the bike to the beach and watched the sunrise. Not a particularly photogenic one, but all the same it was most pleasant to listen to the surf and the birds in the early light.

The tide was halfway out. It would be low at 08:15. There was enough hard sand exposed for a morning ride along the beach. So I rode down the wheelchair access mat and through just a bit of soft sand then along the beach for a few km. What a great way to start the day. I was not the first. Someone had already set out in a 4WD. I passed an elderly couple who had already walked a couple of km, and a man fishing.

Good Customer Relations

This exchange shows how good customer relations works. The company was prepared to replace an expensive unit because of the failure of a small component. My problem with this was that the replacement part was likely to fail in the exact same manner if I continued to use the bike in the same way. I thought I had a better solution. It turned out well, and it also turns out, I suppose, that I am a good customer to have relations with.

Anyway. Apart from replacing the saddle with a more comfortable one to suit my fat arse, and this little issue below, the bike has been excellent, and the service from the company exemplary.

I love my bike, so Leitner deserve a plug on my blog. I hope both my readers buy one.

Read the emails from the bottom up.

Hi Alan,

Thanks for your message.

I’m not sure if or when we will make Leitner stubby holders, but if we do, there will be one with your name on it!

Thanks again and we hope that this resolution holds up and please let us know if you have any issues.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Leitner team!

Feel free to message us or call us on 1300 856 725 if you have any further questions.
Regards,
Alex
Leitner eBikes

On Sat, Dec 14, 2019 at 8:50 AM Alan Freshwater <> wrote:

Once I pulled the old rubber out, I could see it was more to protect me from being pinched by the spring than to protect the spring itself. Incidentally, the rubber was very brittle. It tore very easily and clearly does not like the Queensland sunshine. My fix seems to work fine. I cut down a neoprene wetsuit material stubbie holder and glued and taped it into a cylinder just tight enough to cover the piston. I clamped it one end only with a strong cable tie then ran a bit more Gorilla Tape around it. I’ve been out for a few rides, and hit some speed bumps at a good lick. It is all holding together. I’m satisfied.

So, if you ever produce a Leitner stubby holder, you owe me one!

Cheers and Merry Christmas!

Alan

On Fri, 13 Dec 2019 at 13:47, Leitner Electric Bikes <sales@leitner.com.au> wrote:

Dear Alan,

Thanks for your message.

We look forward to your modification. Hopefully, it will work and will be great. Thank you and we look forward to hearing from you.

Have a lovely weekend ahead Alan!

Feel free to message us or call us on 1300 856 725 if you have any further questions.
Regards,
Kitty
Leitner eBikes


On Fri, Dec 13, 2019 at 2:36 PM Alan Freshwater

> wrote:

Cheers Kitty. I will try out my clever idea and let you know how it went. I’ll even send a photo if it turns out as brilliantly as I hope.


Have a nice one.

On Fri, 13 Dec 2019 at 08:13, Leitner Electric Bikes <sales@leitner.com.au> wrote:

Dear Alan,

Thanks for your message.


From our knowledge, the rubber is used to protect the inner springs and there is not structural function of the rubber cover. If you have an idea of replacing this cover with another more durable material and is comfortable doing so, let us know how you go. If you have any questions or trouble, feel free to let us know. We are happy to assist until this is resolved.


Thank you for your patience and effort in working through this with us. We look forward to hearing from you.


Feel free to message us or call us on 1300 856 725 if you have any further questions.
Regards,
Kitty
Leitner eBikes


On Thu, Dec 12, 2019 at 4:43 PM Alan Freshwater <> wrote:

Thanks again Alex. I appreciate your consideration. Before we go to the inconvenience and cost of replacement of the whole fitting I’d like to ask again how essential is this rubber boot to the continued operation of the bike? I’ve already thought of a repair I could easily undertake using neoprene material as used in wet suits. If the design is just to keep out dust and water with a flexible cover, I’m betting I can make a repair as good as the original with a more durable material. Which I happen to have on hand. My only concern is whether this part as fitted has some other important purpose that may affect the safety or functionality of the bike. If it is just a flexible dust cover I can sort it easily.


CheeRs


Alan

On Thu, 12 Dec 2019 at 2:24 pm, Leitner Electric Bikes <sales@leitner.com.au> wrote:

Hi Alan,


Thanks for your reply and for the additional information. We are glad to hear that you are getting plenty of use out the bike!


This is very strange and is definitely the first we have heard of this happening. We are happy to cover this under warranty, but please note this would be a once-off coverage as it appears to likely be a result of prolonged exposure to the sun/heat and not necessarily manufacturing fault. While we understand that you have always placed it under the shade where possible, we would recommend that you continue to do this. Also, another option could be a bike cover or a tarp to place over the bike if it will be exposed to high levels of heat.


So that we can raise a warranty claim, could you please provide us with some photos showing the serial number of the bike (located above the front forks engraved around the frame). You may need to take two photos to cover the whole number.


In addition, could you please provide your preferred shipping address to have the replacement sent out to.


Thanks again and we look forward to hearing from you.


Feel free to message us or call us on 1300 856 725 if you have any further questions.
Regards,
Alex
Leitner eBikes


On Wed, Dec 11, 2019 at 6:46 PM Alan Freshwater <> wrote:

Hi Alex


I’ve been riding my bike to the pool every day for 5 or 6 days a week and locking it on the bike rack with the side that has perished towards the sun. That’s the only time it is exposed for any length of time except when I’m riding. When I go shopping I find shade. I usually swim for 90 minutes at a time. That and the cycling has helped me lose a heap of weight.
But I digress. I noticed the deterioration last week but I forgot to follow up with you until this morning, I assume that daily exposure is the cause.
Cheers
Alan

On Wed, 11 Dec 2019 at 12:19, Leitner Electric Bikes <sales@leitner.com.au> wrote:

Hi Alan,


Thanks for your message.


Usually with this part, we would just replace the entire rear suspension as we do not typically stock the individual rubber part.


So we can have a bit of a further look into this, do you mind telling us how this happened?


Did it occur while riding? or did you just notice that it had started to peel after a while?


Thanks again and we look forward to hearing from you.


Feel free to message us or call us on 1300 856 725 if you have any further questions.
Regards,
Alex
Leitner eBikes

https://www.leitner.com.au/

https://www.productreview.com.au/b/leitner

https://www.facebook.com/LeitnerDirect



On Wed, Dec 11, 2019 at 11:54 AM Alan Freshwater <> wrote:

As you can see from the attached photo the rubber cover on the suspension shock absorber is deteriorating badly. How important is it for protecting the bike and can I replace it myself? Are you able to supply a new one?
Best regards


Alan